I’m Anna VaRiot. I know what you’re thinking: “Ha ha, this lady thinks putting ‘riot’ in her name will make her funny.”

This site is the embodiment of the delusional belief that I am funny – which, according to my cat, a strange cashier, and a toddler I babysat once, MIGHT not be entirely false. I have always wanted to be funny. I tried as a kid, but no one heard me (they were too busy laughing at ACTUAL funny people). In college, I made a couple people laugh and decided I was a natural Conan O’Brien. The self-esteem? Unwarranted. The commitment? Undeniable.

I write, perform, rant, and occasionally pee alone (when my cat allows it).

This site is a home for the things I can’t always say on stage… likely because they already bombed and I’m too stubborn to let them go. Expect weird honesty, mild shame, and jokes that walk the line between clever and uncomfortably personal.

If you find humor in the awkward, the over-analyzed, the semi-traumatic, and the fully ridiculous – I hope you find something here.

If not… please don’t tell me. This was a therapeutic exercise prescribed by ChatGBT.